On my mind...

It's a good thing I didn't write a post this weekend. All you would have seen was a title that said "FFFFUUUUCCCKKKK!!!!!" Now I don't like to curse too much, but my head was filled with confusing thoughts and delimas, mostly about religion, and I just wanted to curse. Not exactly appropriate when thinking about religion. I don't write too much on my religious perspective, but don't be surprised to read something in the future. (Yes, I still have an urge to confess to a Priest. And no, I don't fully understand why. Partly, but I won't go into that.)

I've been writing alot in my personal journal. More or less explainations for my previous writings in my past journals. Attempting to explain myself. What I've come to figure out is this, there will come a time when someone will read my journals. I don't know who it will be - my parents (heaven help them if they do), a future husband (please forgive me for what I've written), a friend (don't laugh too hard), a future child of mine (hopefully they will continue to think highly of me), or some average Joe who happened to get their hands on my journals and tries to make money off of it. Whatever happens, I want to explain myself. And there's alot to explain.

I've been reading about the mother who is protesting in Crawford, Texas to talk face-to-face with the President of the United States. Her son died in the current war in Iraq. Her husband just filed for divorce, and her younger son is upset with her. Everyone deals with grief in their own personal way, but I really hope she hasn't forgotten about her living family members at home. I won't advise her on how to grieve, but I would think that I would want to spend time with my family.

Something is changing in my brain. My reading habits are changing. I'm reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. I have the urge to read the Illiad, the Fountainhead, To Kill a Mockingbird, Jane Austin literature, etc.... What's wrong with me? I usually read romance and some mystery. James Patterson mystery. Never the intellectual stuff. I'm also in the process of reading the Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. A book 13-15year olds usually read. I'm 28 and finally reading it. Quite funny, don't know why I haven't picked it up before. I can't say that I'm completely eliminating romance books. I did pick up a book titled "The River Devil," but I didn't read all of it. Only the sex parts. I mean, what else is there to read in those books. So many of those romance books are the same - damsel in distress, lots of sex, good guy and gal come out good in the end. There's really no need for plot. (Ok, I say that and I read Nora Roberts books - my favorite Mountana Sky.)

"Eye candy" has lost his flavor. Have I talked about "Eye candy?" If not, here's a brief description - cute guy at trivia night at the local pub/bar/restaurant. He's attractive, but he's losing his flavor. The big breasted girl, and all the other ladies who bat their eyes at him can have him. I can't quite put my finger on why he's lost his flavor. There's something about his personality that just doesn't quite appeal to me. He can be funny. And loud. And crude. Maybe it's the crude part, but I have moments of crudeness. He may have shocked me when he stated that he was reading the book 1776 by David McCullough, but that has passed.

It could be the cute waiter, with the nice smile and laid back, quiet personality that has moved me beyond "Eye candy."

Have a good day everyone.