Saturday, April 29, 2006

My Greatest Accomplishment

This blog is my place to say whatever comes to mind. Mostly stupid and crazy stuff with a rant thrown in from time to time. On very rare occassions I write about something that really affects me. That touches me to the core in which I share with the public. Honestly, I've done it once and I later deleted the post. Here is a rare occassion.

My greatest accomplishment in my 2_ years on earth .... I made my Memaw (Grandmother) smile. An accomplishment that occurred over and over while she was still living but one smile brings tears to my eyes as well as smile of my own.
My Memaw and I shared a special joke that my family and some of my friends knew about. It's funny so I had shared the joke with other people. But it was something that no one else could join in with. It was ours.
To an extent, Memaw was an old fashioned lady. Sometimes to a far extent she was an old fashioned lady. She strongly believed in her daughters and granddaughters to get an education and earn a living. We should not have to depend on a man for survival but, she still wanted us to have loving husband by our side. I suppose she wanted us to be happy with someone to lean on. To not be alone.
Frequently in my twenty's Memaw would ask me, "Do you have yourself a fella?" The answer was always no. Sometimes I would receive the you're-being-too-picky speech and that I'm going to pass up the right guy because of my pickiness. God love my Memaw, I would look at her, smile and say, "I love you Memaw." I'd give her a hug and we would go on. The subject was over... at least for this time.
There came a time when I thought I would be smart. I was ready for her question...
Memaw: (always asked with a loving smile) Do you have yourself a fella?
Me: No Memaw. You're a God fearing woman, why don't you pray for me a fella?
Memaw: I do. I ask God to bring you a good man that will love you and be good to you.
Me: Ok Memaw. I love you.
So from then on, whenever Memaw asked the question, "Do you have a fella?" I piped back with a "Have you been praying for one Memaw?"
The answer was always given with a laugh and smile which was a "Yes."
At the beginning of the New Year in 2006, my Memaw had a massive stroke which affected her right side, her speech and her swallowing. Without going into alot of detail, my Memaw passed away in her sleep April 5th. Three months and two days after her stroke.
My last visit with Memaw is one I will never forget. She looked really good that day. Her eyes looked alert and recognized me and my sister. Some of the doctors and other didn't know if Memaw recognized people, but I have know doubt in my mind she knew who I was. I walked to the left side of her bed, looked into her eyes, and reached for her left hand which was raising up to grab mine. Her mouth was thinned but I saw the corners turn up in a slight smile.
I would hold and rub her hand, bend down and give her a kiss on her shoulder. "I'm just giving you some lovin' Memaw." Over the Christmas holiday when I spent a week with Memaw I would give her kisses on the cheek. "You're just giving me lovin'," Memaw would say.
After minutes of holding Memaw's hand, I stopped being greedy and let my sister take my place. I moved to the foot of her bed and just watched Memaw. Her health hadn't been well. She had her good days and bad days. Another stroke could come anytime. Truth be told, she probably had some mini strokes since her first massive stroke.
Visiting someone at a nursing home is never easy, most especially a loved one. To see Memaw there and not be able to have a conversation with her was just painful. Sometimes I never knew what to say. I did learn that just being there with her was better than any words I could say but at that moment, standing at the foot of her bed, with my sister, mom and aunt with us, Memaw was looking at me and I just let her know with my arms open wide, "Memaw I still don't have a fella."
The reaction from Memaw was the best I had seen from her since the stroke. The laughter was shown brilliantly through her eyes and smile. In that one moment I knew she knew who I was and what I said with our little joke. You can't beat that folks.
So, just a few days after that visit with my Memaw, when in a job interview I was asked, "What is your greatest accomplishment?" Without at second thought, my answer was...
"I made my Memaw smile."