Writing Prompt #1

I'm trying something new. So have patience with my lack of creativity.

Writing prompt...

You’re at your favorite department store buying a birthday present for a friend. As the cashier gives you change, you notice a message with specific instructions scribbled on one of the bills. What did the instructions say? Did you carry them out and, if so, how?

"Here's your change, $6.35. Thank you for shopping at Walmart, and please come again," came the automatic reply from the cashier.

I wasn't paying much attention to the change she'd given me, nor her reply. It's given by every employee here. I could say it in my sleep. Her unenthusisatic reply didn't bother me. I wouldn't be happy saying that phrase over and over again. My attention was focused on the one dollar bill still in the cashier's drawer. It's not mine. It will go to the next person in line, but I wanted to see it. It was covered with lettering. Block style from my point of view. Neat. With purpose. It wasn't a dollar bill where someone just happened to put a phone number or dollar amount on it. It wasn't just one line. There were several lines on it.

I barely noticed the money in my hand, or the person behind me waiting impatiently for their chance to check out. Ohioans are so damn unpatient and they intrude on one's personal space.

The cashier was just about to close the cash register when it popped out of my mouth, "don't close it!"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't close the cash register."

Through my intesity on this dollar bill I did happen to register her perplexity, and the fact that she didn't like my demands on Walmart's equipment.

"I want that dollar bill in there." My eyes are wide on the money, my body bending close to see what's there. "Can I have that dollar."

"No, you cannot have any more money. You have your change."

Looking up at her I see that she thinks I'm insane. Any second now she's going to call the manager, and that person is going to call the cops thinking I want to steal Walmart's money.

I take the dollar bill from my change and hand it to her, "Switch with me. That dollar bill on top for mine." She's looking at my outstretched hand with the dollar bill thinking I've gone crazy. She's going to by-pass the manager and call the closest mental health hospital.

To let her know I'm no threat, and all I want is that one particular dollar, I lay mine down, back away and wait.

"Fine. Here's your damn dollar." You don't hear that from Walmart employees every day.

She switches the dollar for me.

Okay, just seconds away from the mystery of the well written dollar. I wasn't mistaken, the handwriting was very neat, and it took up both sides. Black ink.

"To the person who reads this dollar bill... You are holding a scientific study. Please call the following phone number to participate. We are striving to achieve mass amounts of telephone calls from across the United States with this one dollar bill. Your phone call is urgently wanted. Please don't waste time. Call at (XXX) 555-0000."

O for crying out loud. They want me to call them. It's probably some pervert, or someone from Nigeria wanting to scam me for money. What a disappointment.

As I walk out of the store, I wad up the dollar bill, approach an unsuspecting cute twentysomething male, look him in the eye, give him the dollar bill and say, "here for a good time call this number." I walk off with a roll to my eyes.

Later that night....

Twenty-eight year old Robert finally looks at this dollar bill given to him by the lady walking out of Walmart. He reads the note and understanding sinks in, "Damnit, no wonder I had to change my number."

Off the top of my head...

I think I've gotten past my Mormon kick. I have several books in my possession from the library about Mormonism, but I'll probably never get to them. Better books out there to read.

So here's what's on top of my head...

• The head librarian at my library likes to talk to me as if I'm ten years old. She's an anal micromanager. I imagine that I tower over her and say, "Listen short bitch, I'm twenty-nine years old, treat me like it." She was once an elementary school teacher. I guess she has forgotten what it's like to talk with adult.
• I may be twenty-nine years old, but I still have to show identification to buy something that I only have to be eighteen years old to buy. I'm told I have a baby-like face. Put my hair in a ponytail with my glasses on, I guess I do look kinda young.
• I really should stop smoking. Again. For the third or fourth time. I've lost count.
• The people at the library are starting to drive me nuts again. A much needed vacation is in the distant horizon.
• I have some friends visiting me next month and one of my thoughts is, "how am I going to get rid of the many bottles of Sam Adams in the refrigerator?" The obvious answer is to drink them. The obvious question is, "why are you worried about five bottles of Sam Adams being in the refrigerator?"
• These are my friends from church in Kentucky and I don't think they will think highly of me having my bottles of Sam Adams. Not when they see the other bottles of Smirnoff Ice, Maker's Mark and Wild Turkey. They will think Ohio has turned me into a lush.

That's all for now. Not much going on in my head.

Cake Recipe: Rum Cake

Let's change things up. Here's the recipe for the cake I made today for work...

Rum Cake

1 box of yellow cake mix
1 box of instant vanilla pudding
1/2 cup of light rum
1/2 cup of water
1/2 cup of oil
4 eggs

Mix all the ingredients together and bake for approximately 1 hour in bundt cake pan.

_______________________

Glaze
1 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of butter
1/4 cup of light rum
1/4 cup of water

When cake is close to being done, cook glaze ingredients until sugar is disolved (only a couple of minutes). Take the cake out of the oven when done, pour glaze on top of cake (still in pan). Let the glaze soak into the baked cake for approximately 15-30 minutes.

Turn the cake over into a plate to remove. Eat 24 hours later. Damn good stuff.

The Mormon Twins: Part II

I admit, there are some topics that I have to research, and I research the topic until I'm bored or completely confused. I'm on a Mormon kick.

The following website is from the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry (CARM for short). CARM presents information about various religions, some cults. Here is the website on Mormonism.

Some things of interest (or strangeness to me)...

• Baptism for the dead, (Doctrine of Salvation, Vol. II, p.141) This is a practice of baptizing each other in place of non-Mormons who are now dead. Their belief is that in the afterlife, the, "newly baptized" person will be able to enter into a higher level of Mormon heaven.
• The book of Mormon is more correct than the Bible, (History of the Church, 4:461.)
• Jesus and Satan are spirit brothers and we were all born as siblings in heaven to them both, (Mornon Doctrine, p. 163.)
• God had sexual relations with Mary to make the body of Jesus, (Brigham Young, Journal of Discources, Vol. 4 p. 218, 1857; vol. 8, p. 115.) - This one is disputed among many Mormons and not always 'officially' taught and believed. Nevertheless, Young, th e2nd prophet of the Mormon church taught it.
• After you become a Mormon, you have the potential of becomeing a god, (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pages 345-347, 354.)
• The true gospel was lost from the earth. Mormonism is its restoration, (Articles of Faith, by James Talmage, p. 182-185.)
• There are three levels of heaven: telestial, terrestrial, and celestial, Mormon Doctrine, p. 348.
• Jesus' sacrifice was not able to cleanse us from all our sins, (murder and repeated adultery are exceptions), (Journal of Discources, Vol. 3, p. 247, 1856.)
• If it had not been for Joseph Smith and the restoration, there would be no salvation. There is no salvation [context is the full gospel including exaltation to Godhood] outside the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (Mormon Doctrine, p. 670.)
• A plan of salvation was needed for the people of earth so Jesus offered a plan to the Father and Satan offered a plan to the father but Jesus' plan was accepted. In effect the Devil wanted to be the Savior of all Mankind and to "deny men their agency and to dethrone god." (Mormon Doctrine, page 193; Journal of Discources, vol. 6, page 8.)
• Good works are necessary for salvation, (Articles of Faith, p. 92.)
• There is no salvation without accepting Joseph Smith as a prophet of God, (Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 1, p. 188.)
• Note at the end: Some Mormons may disagree with a few of the points listed on this page, but all of what is state here is from Mormon authors in good standing of the Mornon Church.

For all those individuals who disagree with what is being said on this website about the Mormon faith, CARM also has a webpage for them. (A complaint page.)

And here is what said about those born of Color. (I write some of the strangeness below.)

• According to Mormon history and authoritative Mormon teachers, the Negro, as they were referred to, are a cursed race because they were not faithful to God in their first state (the pre-existent life with God). Hence, when they are born they are born in black skinned families.

I'll shut up for now.

What should I talk about?

I'll talk about the Morman twins.

• They aren't really twins, but certainly Mormans. Males who are a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints usually spend time as missionaries. They go door to door in groups of two not necessarily spreading the word about Jesus Christ but more about their church. Since they go in packs of two, I've decided to call them twins. Let's forget a moment that I'm a Christian. I have to say that because I really dislike the Morman church. I call it a cult. They are some of the nicest people around. Very polite. I personally think they are brainwashed. (Of course, there are plenty of people in this world who think Christians are brainwashed too.)
• I recently visited my sister and was rewarded with a visit from two twins. I was the only one around and I did not want to talk to the fellas. There are alot of people who don't. But I try not to be mean. They are only doing their job. I say job because at a certain age, they are required to leave their family and be missionaries. As far as I know they don't have a choice. They were quite persistant, but I was persistant with my "no" response. I chose to be very vague about when my sister and brother-in-law would return home from work. I know they can handle their own with the twins, but I didn't want them bothered by them.
• Looking back, I wish I was a smart ass to them. But that's hindsight, and honestly something I wouldn't really do. I just don't have it in me to be mean to them face to face. Like I said earlier, they are only doing their job. Now, my athiest friend, her and her husband gave them the riot act when visited by the twins. They hate missionaries. Doesn't matter what kind. I don't think my friend would accept my argument they LDS is a cult church. In fact I don't think everyone would believe my opinion on the church. They are nice people.
• On a side note, my closest friend gives me a wicked grin if I ever mention the Morman twins. All because I made one comment about them. The library were I work is close to where some of the twins live. They use the library computers for email. So often I see them with their startch white shirts, black trousers, tie, and name tag. Some are quite cute and I think, "Damnit, why do you have to belong to that damn church." There are times the evil, wicked side of my brain just wants to mess them up. I think what I said to my friend was, "I just want to jump their bones to mess them up."
• She's never forgotten that statement.

This and That...

I'm fairly sure my cat can sense things that are beyond my eyesite. Just know, he's sitting by the window and all the sudden his body is at attention looking straight up where the window blinds are raised. His eyes are focused on something. So being me, wondering "what the heck is up there?" I follow his line of vision and what do I see.... nothing. Absolutely nothing. The way he looks up a walls and hunkers down in attack stance I think, "what are you seeing that I'm not?" Cats, my cat in particular, are strange that way.

I had a co-worker tell me that she expected me to quit my job here in Ohio move back to Kentucky when my Grandma had her stroke back in January. Just a couple days after Grandma past away I did have the mindset to do just that. Without a job lined up in Kentucky. It was a quick thought. Nothing serious, but something I would have loved to have done.

After my many embarassing moments that I experience on a sometimes frequent basis, it was nice to have the opportunity to witness someone elses embarassment. My mom and I pulled into the parking lot here at the apartment complex. I pulled the car beside someone who had just pulled in moments before me. The occupants were a guy and girl. Girl had been driving and the guy in the front passenger seat. She hops out of the car laughing and looking back at him. As she's walking to retrieve her mail, he gets out of the car, walks in front on mine and he appears to be in a hurry to finishing something. He's not facing my car. My mom and I see his back. And I can only suspect that where his hands are located, he's trying to finish pulling up his pants and zipping the fly. Unsuccessfully I might add. Mom and I are able to see briefs down past his butt. His hat is turned sideways. He's looking down at the front of his pants, the girl is looking back at him laughing as she makes her way to her apartment. He finally gives up zipping his fly and runs straight to her apartment to get away from our prying eyes.

I look at my mom and ask, "what do you think they were doing in the car?" We both have the same idea, but we could be wrong.

There are times in which I can tell my mom anything. Sometimes. And sometimes she surprises me with what she says. We prepare to watch the movie 40-Year-Old Virgin. I let my mom know this movie is funny but can be very crude. She was all for that because she wanted something funny to watch. So when it comes to one particular scene about describing a "woman fucking a horse," I'm thinking, "what is she going to think about this." I reminded her that it's a crude movie just before that scene. I think I laughed more with her response than any part in the movie. How did she respond? Her response was, "so how does a woman fuck a horse?" She was kidding ofcourse, but I just cracked up.