Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Someone explain to me...

Someone explain to me why after a month of being smoke-free, I picked up a cigarette and smoked it to completion. I smoked a couple in fact. I blame it on stress. They say exercise is good to handle stress, but when it's midnight, your mind is racing with "what if's" and you can't sleep, exercise doesn't seem to be the answer.

Vacation gave me the rest I needed. Sleep, read, and clean. (Cleaning doesn't sound like vacation but I enjoyed straightening the basement with all it's clutter. That doesn't mean I'm coming to your house to do the same though.) I come back to Ohio to realize I have an interview for a job back in Kentucky. I have one day to prepare and work around my schedule for this interview. In my mind I'm thinking, "Is this a courtesy interview? Do they have someone in mind for the job?" The phone call for the interview came while I was away and they were in a hurry to fill the position. I made the call Monday morning, and I had to interview the next day or I was out of luck. That's a two to two and one half hour trip one way for an hour interview. Needless to say, I was completely tired when I came back to Ohio last night.
I have another job interview set for this Friday. This one is for my boss's job. He's moving on to higher and better, and calmer places. Me and a co-worker are both applying. We work side-by-side many times. It feels odd to go up against her for the job. At first she wasn't thinking about applying but she changed her mind when she say the salary. She's married with a baby on the way. The money will help her family. As soon as I found out she was vying for the job I felt defeated. I compare us and feel that the "power's that be" will chose her over me. Shit. I hate feeling like that.
So, one job would take me back to Kentucky, other will keep me in Ohio - the land of useless nuts. (The Buckeye tree is the official Ohio tree. You can't do squat with the nuts from the tree. Therefore, Ohioans are useless nuts.) Let's do a comparison of the jobs...
Kentucky job....
  • I'm back in my home state of Kentucky (+)
  • I'll be closer to my family (+)
  • It's in a rural area (+/-)
  • The salary isn't as high as the Ohio position (-)
  • I won't be working in a public library setting (+/-)
  • I'm going to feel clueless in the job (-) But, I still think I can do it.
  • I already have two years of retirement with the system I would be working for (+)
  • I'll have my own office (+)

Ohio job....

  • Higher salary than the Kentucky job (+)
  • I'll still be in Ohio (-)
  • I'll still be away from my family (-)
  • I'll remain near my friends I've made here (-)
  • The position would give me supervisory experience (+)
  • I'll be in a public library setting (+/-)
  • I'll have my own office (+)
  • I'll be supervising people I've worked side-by-side with (+/-)

One thing about the Kentucky job, I feel my parents have very high hopes that I get the job. I know my parents are proud of me no matter if I get the job or not, but I know how much they would like me back in the state.

No comments: