I have just come across the 2nd Big reason why I don't put energy into online dating services. To me, there's a strange.... um what's the word for it? .... well let's just say strange things occur.
For some people, online dating is wonderful. Great. My sister is the prime example b/c she is currently married to the man whom she met online. (Yes, I was shocked when a year later they told me about meeting through Yahoo! Personals.) He turned out to be a good guy who I had previously met years before at college. Without knowing what was taking place, I let my sister know, "Yeah, he's a nice guy." Then what do you know, they meet, decide they could be good friends, and later I'm buying them a spice rack as a wedding gift. (I know what you're thinking, "A spice rack?! How boring! But at least it wasn't a toaster and it's what they wanted.)
On to my story, I happen to have a friend who can talk me into almost anything. Almost. An ice storm hit our town, her apartment was without electricity for a week, she stayed with me, and with her encouragement I'm setting up a personality profile through Yahoo Personals. (I thought I was completely off my rocker.) But, I needed to try something different besides going to school and working at the library. Something to add some spice. The profile was set and soon enough I was receiving instant messages from men reading my profile. Some were dorks. Some where okay. One happen to repeatedly ask, "Are you my soul mate?" Is that some sort of online pickup line?
Anyways, one evening, as we were watching television and I was doing some research on the internet I receive this one particular Instant Message... (I'm going to paraphrase here, but hopefully you'll get the idea.)
Him: how are you?
Me: fine. you?
Him: good. thanks.
(Lul in the conversations)
(I'm going to skip a bit here)
Him: i live in (city name here).
Me: me too.
Him: i work at the library downtown
(Holy shit! that's not possible. I work at the downtown library. who is this guy?)
(Big looong pause on my part, which at this point I yell at my friend, he works at the downtown library. )
(As your probably know, the library profession is dominated by females, not many males worked at he downtown library.)
("what should I say?" I ask my friend. The reply was a nice shrug. No help ofcourse.)
Me: I work there too. (Did I just tell him that?)
(Long pause on his part)
We decided to chat and not talk about the library. Basically because if we gossiped or said something about someone, we could have been talking about the person we are actually talking too. We talked about movies. A safe topic.
For the next week my mind is racing as to who this person is. We didn't tell each other our names. My friend and I were going through each male at the library. (We both worked there.)
For four days, I was going to school and going to work trying to figure out who I chatted with. I went through every name I could think of: Dan, Bobby, Patrick, Scott, etc.... I came up with nothing. Then one day I pass by Matt on the way to one of the desks on the Reference Floor. "Holy shit! It's Matt. Oh my goodness, it's Matt!!!. I thought. I wanted to die right there.
Not only did we work at the same library. Not only did we work on the same floor. We often worked at the same desk together!!! And let me tell you something ladies and gentlemen, he only has a personality if he's talking about movies. He earned a degree in geography by correspondance (how is that possible?) I had to do everything in my power to have a conversation with him. Nothing worked unless the topic was movies. Every thing else what monotone, one or two syllable answers. "Yeah. I know. Sure." And that was from asking open ended questions.
I never spoke to him about it, and he never mentioned anything to me. As if it never happened.
The second incident happened just thirty minutes ago. Once again with my friend's encouragement I filled out a profile for eharmony.com. (this profile was filled out towards the end of 2004). What it came down to was this, my friend has signed up for this and she wanted me to experience it so we can talk about it. I don't know if she really had hopes for me to find someone through this. What can I say, I'm a good friend.
I didn't go far with this. Which isn't a problem with me. I wasn't upset with it. My friend on the other hand, she actually went on a date with someone through eharmony.com. The date didn't go well, and I could have told her it wouldn't just by the desciption of the man she was meeting. I let her figure things out by herself. My profile is still up and running (a year later) and matches continue to pop up. Today was the first time I looked at my account in over 9 months (or more). I was bored. Browsing through the internet. I thought, sure, let's look at it.
Not surprisingly there were plenty of "closed" matches because I didn't reply to any of them. And these were matches made back in October 2005. I was looking through the names and location of some of the matches. Then all the sudden one caught my eye...
Dwayne (Maysville, KY)*
I know a Dwayne from Maysville, KY. Is that who I think it is?
age 26
occupation technology
That was all I needed to know. I knew who it was. Confirmation was made complete when I read the profile. This was the brother of my best friend. The best friend who encouraged me to make a profile to eharmony.com. Oh my goodness! Does he know? Did the name and location ring a bell to him? Please tell me his mind was too focused on his computers and X-Box to pay attention.
He closed the match with the reason... "I'm pursing other relationships...."
Yeah, and her name is Mandy.* (My friend has told me who he was interested in, but from the last report, there is no chemistry between them. No spark. Well, he will always have the X-Box.)
Just incase you are wondering. I have met Dwayne before. He, his sister and I went to a haunted house one year. They have a thing for haunted houses, though he is petrified to be in a cemetery. (My friend and I happen to love cemeteries for some strange reason.)
So that's that. What strange circumstances I happen to come across.
*Some names have been change to protect the identity of people.
