Full Range of Emotions

I could not have been on a more cury, up and down roller coster of emotions as I have been the past 26 days. Sadness. Anger. Desperation. Pain. Happiness. Elation. Down Cast. My mom and my sister took my father to the hospital emergency room on October 1st and he's been in the hospital ever since. There's too much to describe what's happened to my dad in the past month to explain everything, but I think the phrase, "we almost lost him," covers the severity of his stay.

A gentleman called for my dad yesterday. He asked where he was. "He's in the hospital," I replied very manner of factly.

"He's still there!?" he replied.

Oh how much I wanted to say, "Yes he most certainly his. Coming close to death can keep you in the hospital for a long time."

The first week and half was the worst. His two daughter's and his wife were at his side 24/7 at the hospital. Having the night shift was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because the hospital has finally calmed down. The lights are dim and it's easier to get the nurses attention if you need something. A curse because it was my shift that dad seemed to get worse, and to gain some sleep during the day was impossible because all his friends and family would call for an update.

And oh how much I wanted to say, "Stop calling! I'm trying to sleep! Dad had only 46% in his blood, he's agitated, can't sleep and can't breathe well. I'm tired and fucking scared! Now let me cry my eyes out and go to sleep."

I'm the first to admit that I can't write too well when I'm emotional. Give me some time.